I remember sitting around the benched tables of my high school cafeteria. Life stretching long out in front of me and a list of dreams a mile long rattling from my tongue. In all my dreams motherhood was optional. A potential stop along the highway of life. A far off destination somewhere down the road...way down the road.
We talk about women's choice. We have the right to choose what is right for our bodies, our lives, but the truth is that when motherhood chooses you, accept it or reject it, you've been chosen. Inextricably, irreversibly, undeniably you've been chosen and your choice is to embrace it fully or reject it wholly. There is no in between in motherhood. We risk more than our own life if we reject it. Feigned bravery is a life left to worldly adventure. Truth be told it isn't bravery at all. It is avoidance of all that is lasting in this world. Bravery is to choose what is lasting. Like planting a tree in the tender ground of life I am growing into being a mother. Brave work to trust that roots will grow deep and branches will spread long. I am doing holy work that keeps me tethered, body and soul, to this one life. Motherhood, with it's thousand graces has chosen me and I have but one choice in response; grab hold.
Counting the graces of this one life motherhood and all! Counting along with you would be pure joy.
baby sighs, midnight cries, early morning kisses, road trips, double naps, going to church for the 1st time, one good night/one bad night, mimis and gigis, curious nieces, precocious nephews, time to pee (ha ha!), pancakes, routines, library books, Valentine's Day, cake, whispering in bed, hot showers (have I listed this a dozen times?), stretch marks, knitted blankets